Do I Look Fat?
by VolumeofForgottenLore
Summary: Harry and Draco have another conversation. Is Harry fat? Does Draco think Harry is being ridiculous? Will Lucius ever leave Harry alone? Find out! This is Draco/Harry slash. This is a semi-squeal to "Boredom" so read that first then this!


A/N: This is a sort of sequel to my other dialogue story "Boredom" but can be read as a standalone. However, some things might make more sense if you read the other story first.

"Draco?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think I'm fat?"

"What?"

"Do you think I'm fat?"

"Now why would I think that?"

"I don't know…"

"No, Harry. Tell me. Why would you ask me that?"

"…You're avoiding the question!"

"Am not!"

"Draco Lucius Malfoy, answer me!!"

"Saying my full name won't change anything Harry!"

"Draco _answer_ me!"

"But-"

"Answer me!"

"Har-"

"Why are you avoiding it?"

"Avoiding what?"

"_It_!"

"What 'it'?"

"Oh you know what 'it'!"

"No! I honestly have _no_ idea what you are talking about!"

"Yes you do!"

"What! That you are fat or me avoiding the question?!"

"Ha! So you think I'm fat!"

"What?"

"You said it!"

"Harry, you're being ridiculous again!"

"This is _not_ ridiculous!"

"Oh god, you're doing it again!"

"What?"

"This!!"

"What this? This is SERIOUS! You think I'm…fat."

"See! Proof!"

"Proof of what?"

"That you are doing it again!"

"WHAT!"

"Putting words in my mouth and then twisting them around to make me feel guilty."

"…I don't do that."

"Yes. You do."

"…what would I gain from that?"

"Oh I don't know…maybe having me record my undying love for you on tape!"

"I did not do that for that!"

"Yes you did, and you are doing it again!"

"Am not!"

"What do you have this time? A video camera?"

"Draco!"

"Harry. Let's just stop this."

"No."

"See there you go again!"

"Stop saying that!"

"Then stop acting ridiculous _again_!"

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are TOO!"

"AM NOT!"

"Déjà vu!"

"Draco!"

"Harry!"

"So am I?"

"Harr- what?"

"Am I?"

"Are you what?"

"_Faaaaaat_?"

"Harry…"

"Just answer the question."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Now before I answer the question…"

"Yes?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"No reason."

"Harry."

"Dracooooooo!"

"Harry!"

"Draaaaaaaco!"

"Har- we are not going through this again! Answer the damn question!"

"Why?"

"Well then why should I?"

"…because I love you?"

"Wrong answer!"

"But I love you!"

"Well if that's the case, love works both ways."

"Exactly! Give and take."

"So answer my question!"

"No!"

"What happened to 'give and take'?"

"Hn."

"Dammit! Harry, stop being so stubborn!"

"No."

"Harry, baby please!"

"…"

"…"

"You rarely call me 'baby' outside of sex."

"Hn. Well that shows the importance of this conversation."

"I thought you said it was ridiculous."

"But you aren't. You are important, so this conversation is important."

"Oh."

"So. Why do you want to know if you're fat or not?"

"Well…"

"Take your time."

"Remember the function we went to last week?"

"Which one?"

"The Petergale Gala."

"…"

"Hermione and Ron were there."

"Be more specific."

"You didn't like Ron's outfit?"

"…"

"You complimented Hermione on her hair…"

"I do that all the time. Her hair looks absolutely fabulous now that I created the Sleek-setter! Which reminds me, I need to talk to her about the marketing details and the gross income of the-"

"Draco!"

"Sorry."

"Anyway your father was there."

"You need to be more specific."

"Your mom wore a-"

"I saw my mom 4 times last week. I won't remember her outfit on a particular day. Especially since she wore pale-blue all last week."

"Huh. You called Ron a 'Poor excuse for a man who is supposedly Hermione Granger's spouse'."

"I think that every time I see him so I can't remember if I said that out loud or just thought it."

"Draco!"

"What!"

"You're being _difficult_!"

"Well you're being _vague_. Really _vague_!"

"I wore the green robes you bought me!"

"…silver or black lining?"

"Silver."

"You have two of those! Details Harry!"

"I only wore 1 pair of green robes last week!"

"No, you wore _emerald_ robes with the silver lining one day and _evergreen_ robes with the silver lining the other."

"And the difference is?"

"Color! And the days you wore them on!"

"I wore the dragon clasp belt!"

"Ahhh! Now I remember. It was Thursday, because I remember saying that night 'Your ass is mine for the next week', because there were no more functions to attend until next Thursday…which is tomorrow…HARRY!"

"It amazes me that you remember that much based on the belt I wore. What is it?"

"We should be having sex instead of talking! We'll be too busy to shag for about a month!"

"Don't touch me!"

"Harry."

"Stop!"

"I will…when I'm done."

"Put my shirt _down_!"

"You don't want me to."

"Yes I do!"

"Now Harry. Look. There's absolutely no fat here."

"Yes there is."

"Where?"

"…"

"All I see I muscle and taught skin."

"Draco."

"And an adorable belly button!"

"Draco! Stop that!" (1)

"Oh and a hickey!"

"Where?"

"Right here."

"Draco stop that!"

"Mmmmm."

"Ah."

"Like how this feels?"

"…"

"…"

"Mhhmmm."

"There. Definitely one of my best!"

Meanie!"

"It was your fault for being so damn sexy and adorable at the same Harry. Really that should be a sin!"

"I'm too old to be adorable!"

"…we are 19."

"To old!"

"And yet you do it so well!"

"…"

"But see Harry? No fat."

"You sure?"

"1000%"

"M'kay."

"But once again. Why are you asking me this?"

"Oh. Well at the Petergale Gala, someone commented on my 'horizontal growth'."

"Oh really? Who was the bastard?!"

"Remember you said it, not me."

"I don't care. Unless it was my mother, but who insulted you!?"

"Lucius."

"I'll still kill him."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Draco?"

"Hmmm?"

"Love you."

"As you should." (2)

"_DRACO_!!"

(1) This was my first attempt EVER to try and have a more sexual theme in my story. Did you get that Draco was giving Harry a hickey? Was it too cliché? Was it too 'just no. it doesn't work like that'? Please comment on it! And should I delve into the more limey/lemony themes in other works?

(2) From the play _Spring Awakening _by Frank Wedekind. In fact this line was said from Hanschen to Ernst, two boys who discover their love for each other during the play. The musical won 8 Tony awards. I read the play and saw the musical. Not obsessed, just dedicated.


End file.
